Daily Couch Wisdom: Connections

Human connection, one of the most sought-after, craved human desires and needs. We look for human connection almost everywhere—in our love interests, friends, children, doctors, and parents; it is what gives our lives purpose and meaning. For most of us, it’s easy to muster up the feelings a positive human connection can create: trust, respect, admiration, and love. On the other hand, how does it feel when we don’t have a positive human interaction? Oftentimes it makes us feel shameful, lonely, or rejected. Over time, a pattern of reoccurring negative human interactions can cause a person to become angry, distant, and mistrustful. Not surprisingly, these individuals eventually start to push away the very thing they crave and need so deeply.

One of my favorite researchers and storytellers—aka “Magic Pixie” (see Ted Talk below)—Brené Brown has spent many years studying this need for human connection. Through her research, she found that vulnerability, or the willingness to be vulnerable, is a critical determinant in our ability to form solid, meaningful, human connections with others. The irony here is that before we, as humans, can truly experience a positive human connection, we have to allow ourselves to be seen—really seen for who we are, warts and all. Well, that is scary! What if he/she doesn’t like me? What if he/she sees that I am… messy/always late/scared/insecure? So I ask you, so what if he/she does see these things and you find out he/she feels exactly the same?