Articles from February 2015

Daily Couch Wisdom: Relax

Posted on: by:

defn0010

How many of you have heard of a calendar test? A calendar test is simply a way to validate how your time is spent in comparison to where you may think you spend your time – “walk the walk vs. talk the talk”. A few years ago I was asked to take the calendar test. I was asked to list on a sheet of paper the 5 most important things in my life. I quickly wrote down my items – children, health, family etc., and I set down my pen. Ha! This was an easy test, I knew what was importan…t to me.

Then the instructor asked me to pull out my personal calendar and look through my schedule for the last 3 months. Wow, guess what? My calendar didn’t always reflect those things that I valued the most, one of those being my health. All too often I put off coffee with a girlfriend, a movie with the kids, or a hike in my favorite park. I was so busy doing things, I didn’t take time out to relax or enjoy the joys of life.

Did you know when a group of 100 people were polled regarding their relaxation habits 40% reported they had never purposely set aside time for relaxation? Additionally, of those same people 45% reported they have a difficult time relaxing at all.

Our lives are so busy and we are all running in so many different directions but our health isn’t something to take for granted. When our minds are stressed, our breathing changes and oxygen flow is restricted to our body and organs. When we relax (mentally and physically), we calm our mind, allow more oxygen to flow, and we live richer healthier lives.

So relax, breathe deeply, and schedule some time to enjoy the moment.

Daily Couch Wisdom: Connections

Posted on: by:
Human connection, one of the most sought after, craved human desires and needs. We look for human connection almost everywhere in our love interests, friends, children, doctors, and parents; it is what gives our lives purpose and meaning. For most of us, it’s easy to muster up the feelings a positive human connection can create trust, respect, admiration, and love. On the other hand, how does it feel when we don’t have a positive human interaction? Often times it makes us feel shameful, lonely, or rejected. Over time, a pattern of reoccurring negative human interactions can cause a person to become angry, distant, and mistrustful. Not surprisingly, these individuals eventually start to push away the very thing they crave and need so deeply. One of my favorite researcher/storyteller – aka “Magic Pixie” (see Ted Talk below), Brené Brown has spent many years studying this need for human connection. Through her research she found that vulnerability, or the willingness to be vulnerable is a critical determinant in our ability to form solid, meaningful, human connections with others. The irony here is that before we, as humans can truly experience a positive human connection we have to allow ourselves to be seen – really seen for who we are, warts and all. Well, that is scary! What if he/she person doesn’t like me? What if he/she sees that I am… messy/always late/scared/insecure? So I ask you, so what if he/she does see these things and you find out he/she feels exactly the same?

Human connection, one of the most sought after, craved human desires and needs. We look for human connection almost everywhere in our love interests, friends, children, doctors, and parents; it is what gives our lives purpose and meaning. For most of us, it’s easy to muster up the feelings a positive human connection can create trust, respect, admiration, and love. On the other hand, how does it feel when we don’t have a positive human interaction? Often times it makes us feel shameful, lonely, or rejected. Over time, a pattern of reoccurring negative human interactions can cause a person to become angry, distant, and mistrustful. Not surprisingly, these individuals eventually start to push away the very thing they crave and need so deeply.
One of my favorite researcher/storyteller – aka “Magic Pixie” (see Ted Talk below), Brené Brown has spent many years studying this need for human connection. Through her research she found that vulnerability, or the willingness to be vulnerable is a critical determinant in our ability to form solid, meaningful, human connections with others. The irony here is that before we, as humans can truly experience a positive human connection we have to allow ourselves to be seen – really seen for who we are, warts and all. Well, that is scary! What if he/she person doesn’t like me? What if he/she sees that I am… messy/always late/scared/insecure? So I ask you, so what if he/she does see these things and you find out he/she feels exactly the same?