Daily Couch Wisdom: Connections

 Human connection, one of the most sought after, craved human desires and needs. We look for human connection almost everywhere in our love interests, friends, children, doctors, and parents; it is what gives our lives purpose and meaning. For most of us, it’s easy to muster up the feelings a positive human connection can create trust, respect, admiration, and love. On the other hand, how does it feel when we don’t have a positive human interaction? Often times it makes us feel shameful, lonely, or rejected. Over time, a pattern of reoccurring negative human interactions can cause a person to become angry, distant, and mistrustful. Not surprisingly, these individuals eventually start to push away the very thing they crave and need so deeply.  One of my favorite researcher/storyteller – aka “Magic Pixie” (see Ted Talk below), Brené Brown has spent many years studying this need for human connection. Through her research she found that vulnerability, or the willingness to be vulnerable is a critical determinant in our ability to form solid, meaningful, human connections with others. The irony here is that before we, as humans can truly experience a positive human connection we have to allow ourselves to be seen – really seen for who we are, warts and all. Well, that is scary! What if he/she person doesn’t like me? What if he/she sees that I am… messy/always late/scared/insecure? So I ask you, so what if he/she does see these things and you find out he/she feels exactly the same?

Human connection, one of the most sought after, craved human desires and needs. We look for human connection almost everywhere in our love interests, friends, children, doctors, and parents; it is what gives our lives purpose and meaning. For most of us, it’s easy to muster up the feelings a positive human connection can create trust, respect, admiration, and love. On the other hand, how does it feel when we don’t have a positive human interaction? Often times it makes us feel shameful, lonely, or rejected. Over time, a pattern of reoccurring negative human interactions can cause a person to become angry, distant, and mistrustful. Not surprisingly, these individuals eventually start to push away the very thing they crave and need so deeply.
One of my favorite researcher/storyteller – aka “Magic Pixie” (see Ted Talk below), Brené Brown has spent many years studying this need for human connection. Through her research she found that vulnerability, or the willingness to be vulnerable is a critical determinant in our ability to form solid, meaningful, human connections with others. The irony here is that before we, as humans can truly experience a positive human connection we have to allow ourselves to be seen – really seen for who we are, warts and all. Well, that is scary! What if he/she person doesn’t like me? What if he/she sees that I am… messy/always late/scared/insecure? So I ask you, so what if he/she does see these things and you find out he/she feels exactly the same?